We've got to start somewhere

Let me start off by saying that what is to follow is absolutely one of the finest writing samples from Aubrey. You see, a group of us girls used to go out every Wednesday night in an attempt to try new restaurants and be able to catch up on our week. What in turn actually happened was us ending up inevitably at The Tavern, getting hammered, and having to drag our stank asses to work the next day. And live to write about it all. Aubrey was in charge of writing the weekly re-caps. I say was because we no longer partake in these Wednesday night festivities we dubbed "WYNDIC." It was the cooler version of WNDC. It stands for "Weekly Wednesday Night Dinner/Drinking Club." I know there is nothing that the "I" represents. It just makes it flow better. And, I know as well, not that creative. But it sounds funny when said...say it with me.....W-Y-N-D-I-C. Ha. Anyways, here is an entry from Aubrey's 24th birthday last year. Hilarity at it finest. Even though you don't know the people, who cares. We will inevitably talk about them enough on this blog that you'll feel as though you do.

Due to my inability to formulate complete sentences yesterday, the recap is a day late. Yes, Wednesday's festivities rendered me inoperative for an entire day, but as always, totally worth it! Let me begin by thanking each of you for a fabulous birthday celebration – martinis, good; sushi good; friends, gooood.

Onto some details to jog your memory of the evenings events…*disclaimer* my memory of the night is rather hazy, therefore I cannot be held accountable for any inaccuracies or lies my drunken mind may have fabricated.

We started off the night right – Kris knew the bartender and we were promptly served huge shots. I guess technically they’re called “shooters”…but they were strong enough to be considered “will grow hair on your chest” shots.

Thanks to Twist’s 2 hour wait, errbody was feelin’ a lil’ tipsy before ordering the raw fish (good combo…my stomach is still furious with me).
The wait however, was tolerable considering our delightful conversations. All topics were covered. Everything from the crisis in Iraq, to “no seriously, it was so big and heavy he couldn’t get it up…and that’s not even the largest one I’ve been with.” Thank you, Dana.

Unfortunately, there are no Elizabeth “gold-digger” stories this week; HOWEVER, l will break-out one from the previous week. Last week, Dana generously gave a gentleman a cigarette; in return, he graciously bought HER a drink. Biz selectively hears “free drink” and decides to go ahead and get a drink on the gentleman’s tab…”What?! We’re her friends!” As usual, good work.

We lost some soldiers after dinner, but Shan, Dane and I were in it for the long haul. To document our ongoing efforts, I gave my digital camera to the “gangster” on the side of the street. Shockingly, he didn’t steal my camera and took a decent picture. Despite this, we still ran away in fear…”Hurry! He’s going to shoot us in the back”

Surviving our near attack, we comforted ourselves with more drinks at the Tavern, and the company of Jack, Larry and Jay.

Dana and Aubrey get sentimental in the bathroom. Yes, the female gender is known to do such things on a common basis, but seeing as Dana and I pride ourselves on being hard-asses, this is a rare occurrence. We became upset, naturally, that we weren’t friends in college. Don’t worry everyone; we decided this is not such a bad thing. You see, had we been around to influence each other (like we do) college-style, we wouldn’t have seen graduation day. It’s much better that our friendship developed now that we’re mature and responsible. ha.

Dana and Jay get in their usual fight…”I looked happier in the picture than you!” Must be hard to be in such a dysfunctional relationship.

I topped-off the night with a blow-job shot. Larry was the lucky guy. The pictures are very incriminating, and the perverts next to us enjoyed seeing whipped cream on my face a Little. Too. Much.

Larry, Jack, Shan and I did venture to another bar, but my memory is too muddled to even attempt. I do remember Jack and Larry doing a pole dance together. jk...maybe.

Well gals, another WYNDIC, another birthday. I feel fortunate that I get to celebrate both occasions with each of you.

And there you have it. Aubrey, ladies and gentleman. Until next time, peace, love, and all that shiat.