For you, Shan...

I haven't given a fuck since myspace.

monday night drinking club....WTF?!?!

dude, here's the real deal.....i'm a 26 year old child who enjoys day drinking, stage dancing and monday night black outs. this monday night thing is a new thing.....recently discovered that peachtree tavern sells yeagar bombs for $4 on monday night AND they have karokee. sang "sweet child of mine" last monday. before i fell down the stairs leaving the bar, in which i re-opened the wounds on my knees that i got when i ran 3 miles home from the bar while in cleveland last weekend. mondays are no longer the worst day of the week. tuesday is. i HAVE to go home soon.

in case you wanted to know...

two searches that will bring up our blog:

"peed the bed how to dry"

and

"shannon married aubrey"

awesome.

Luckyfest comes to town, craziness ensues

Luckyfest 2006 came and went this past weekend. i'm going to recount the few things i remember from saturday morning/afternoon:

1. we had all our friends over on saturday morning to start drinking at 11 am. NOT a good idea, as it turned out.
2. got to park tavern at 2 pm.
3. blacked out at 3 pm.
4. started remembering things again around 6 pm.
5. carrie fell into many prickly bushes after, well, just standing.
6. one of our friends had to be taken home at 6 pm. she peed my bed that night.
7. everyone became separated at some point, and all went their respective ways by 9 pm. surprised we made it that long.
8. woke up at 4 am with 5 voicemails from said friend telling me she had peed my bed.
9. spent all day yesterday in my bed (sheets washed and feather mattress to the dry cleaners)
10. spent the majority of today trying to piece together what the hell happened to us, and thanking god that festival season 2006 is indeed over.

i need to grow the f up.

Spring Break, part deux

kristen's most recent post has got me thinking about my past spring breaks, and for some reason, even though i've been graduated from college for almost 4 years now, i have never stopped going on spring break. is that weird? here, my account of my spring breaks of the past, Ironically, they have evolved into something more....

1. freshman year - went home. got incredibly drunk with friends who never went off to college, or ones who were still in high school. i was pledging that semester, i hadn't drank of my own free will in over 6 weeks.
2. sophomore year - went home and visited my boyfriend at ohio state. one week later, i found out he cheated on me. spring break has a lot of things to improve.
3. junior year - road tripped it to ft. lauderdale with the dogs. we nicknamed our group of 13 the "roll dogs" sophomore year. we couldn't have been cooler if we tried. the weather was awful. it rained almost every day. however, in one week's time, we manged to drink too much, celebrate 2 21st birthdays, loose purses and all earthly belongings, witness a stabbing, and return to college almost normal. oh, yeah, our friend megan had sex in the pool with a fellow spring breaker. we stayed out of that pool for the rest of the week. if ever at the sheraton on A1A, i recommend not going into the pool.
4. senior year - spring break 2002. we showed people that it was in fact 2002, by holding up our first two fingers as the "2's", while our boobs represented the "0's". flew to south padre island. had a blast. weather sucked again. so bad, that we actually went tanning on spring break. theme song for this spring break was enrique iglesia's "escape." stellar.
5. 1st year out of school - actually, i did nothing this year. felt somewhat normal.
6. 2nd year out of school - def. made up for not doing anything last year. went on 2 spring breaks this year. went to hilton head with some of the dogs (we don't call ourselves that anymore, thank god. just a way to refer who i'm talking about.) dana and i drove there, screaming "woo hoo, spring break 2004" the entire car trip down. got crazier than we did in college. woke up in a twin bed with dana, even though there were empty beds in the house. guess we like to sleep together when we're away from home. week after this debaucherous weekend, spent a week in scottsdale with my family. nice, wholesome family fun. i needed it.
7. 3rd year out of school - went to sarasota with my best friend from high school's family. our brothers, who were seniors in high school at the time, were coincidentally here on spring break. embarrasingly enough, we hung out with my brother, while her's was layed up in the hospital from a spring break mishap. mishap = him getting his ass kicked and my brother and the rest of their friends spending the entire rest of the spring break trying to find the kids who did it. never happened. other than that, not a whole lot of excitement happening in the city with the highest concentration of old people.
8. 4th year out - i actually (thank god) have no plans of a "spring break" typed trip this year. guess i'm growing up after all.

so that's that guys. even though i refer to going on "spring break" the last four years, these trips just accidentally coincided with your normal spring break months. um, who am i trying to kid???

It's that time of year again

It's OysterFest people. This day brings not only drunken debauchery, but stories that will be told and re-told for all time. It is the most highly anticipated day of the year for many, and one that is never forgetten. Please come back Monday (maybe Tuesday, depending on how hungover we still are) for stories that are sure to brighten the worst of days. Wish us luck, as we begin yet another journey to the other, better side.

Cosmic Oddity

Every time I go to the bathroom the same co-worker goes. This wouldn’t be as odd if I had a strict schedule…ya know, like those real regular people that take their coffee-shit at exactly 9:30am every morning. Nope, not me; my waste intake and output is as predictable as an episode of Arrested Development.

Seeing as today is officially my last day of work (despite the fact that I’ve been putting in no more than 3 hours a day since I trained my replacement), I must bid ado to my bathroom buddy, along with the rest of my co-workers -- there are about 4 left that don’t cause a pulsating vein to appear over my right eye.

Even though I’m thoroughly disgusted with this company and ecstatic to be moving on, I’ve been consumed with an overwhelming sense of depression [that those whom I love most have had to endure for the last month]. I feel like a battered wife that has been conditioned to associate pain with love. It’s difficult to end anything after 3+ years, good or bad…I guess.